WHY PARENTS DRINK
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see
that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is
so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much
older than I am. But it’s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy.. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of fire wood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading
it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the
meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can
get better. She deserves it. Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take
care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you
can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at
Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it’s safe to come home.
Thanks to Missy.
A very clever approach to dealing with a bad report.
However, I can see how it would drive his parrents to drink!